I may hate the job I have right now, and am looking for ways out of the job, but I have kids. I would NEVER jeopardize the well being of my family by purposely losing a job, even one that I absolutely HATE. Granted I can file for Unemployment and get paid that way, but I'm not a lazy ass. I would MUCH rather go out and find a job. Like I said before, I love my family. As far as I can tell, the other job fell through. I have begun the search for another one already. I have not yet spoken to the DM, and my co-workers, except my 3 managers, have told me to lighten up and that I don't know for sure that I have lost my job. Sure sure, yeah yeah, they can't guarantee that I will keep my job either. The 3 managers claim that I haven't been doing anything to try to keep my job. Yeah ok, sure. I showed up after my vacation didn't I? I did my job to the best of my ability didn't I? The store manager asked me if I viewed R.A.C. as a career. I used to, not so much anymore after all the harassment I've received.
I took a shower with my son, Zane, today, and after a little while of washing up and playing, I told him it was time to get out of the shower. He gave a little fight, so I told him that it was because Daddy has to go to work in the morning. He said, "No, I don't want daddy to go to work. I want Daddy to stay home with me." Now what was I supposed to say? Trying to make him feel better, I told him Daddy won't be going to work soon, so he can spend time with Daddy. I know that sounds bad, but that was the first thing I thought of to say to him because I didn't want him to cry. He had jumped up at that point, gave me a hug and kiss, then said, "But Daddy has to go to work, so I can have toys and cars." Know how that made me felt? I felt like crying because it made me feel, because there is a very good possibility that I will lose this job, like I failed my son. I do not want to feel like that, and I don't want my son to have the thought that I didn't do everything in my power to keep my job so that I can provide for him.
I may hate this job, but now I wonder, do I take it like a man and attempt to keep it? Even with all of the harassment and other bullshit I get from all directions there? Don't get me wrong, I like the job and company. Its the people I work with that I cannot stand and I have been denied transfers 5 times. My boss had said in the past that if I see a better opportunity, take it. But when I try to, I get shot down. He claims that he is lenient and has changed for the better of all of us. I haven't seen this change towards me. Know what I saw? Him treating EVERYONE else, better. then its like he "looks down at me", and his attitude changes. Same goes with the Lead Assistant. Every time I turn around, he's looking for me because apparently I did something wrong. He has actually patronized me, my boss has done this too but not to this degree, in front of other R.A.C. employees and customers, telling me that I should be doing something he told me to do, not what the store manager told me to do. After the store manager had told me to do something before the Lead Assistant had. Let me think, do something the store manager told me to do, and deal with the wrath of the Lead Assistant, who has had 14 years in the company by the way, or do something that the Lead Assistant has told me to do and incur the wrath of the store manager who could reprimand me with write ups and what not?
There are a total of 6 people in the store I work at. And its all guys. It seems like I am the only one who deals with frustration differently. It also seems like I am the only one who doesn't think it's funny when they start cracking jokes on people, especially me. Trust me, I try to laugh it off, but it really isn't funny. I have actually gone off on people when they don't stop. 2 of my co-workers have actually told the management to lay off me a little because they know that I have certain issues that are hard for me to get a grip on (ie. anger, depression) and leave at the door. I know I am supposed to, but sometimes it just doesn't happen. Beyond that, they don't listen to them. You know, I actually confronted my store manager about the fact that they would piss me off on purpose because I would get stuff done quicker. I told him its not going to work anymore, his response? "It has in the past, we'll see..."
They also tell me that the reason they push me so hard is because I have been there almost 2 years. Ok, fine and dandy. Wanna know how long it took for them to give me a store key after proving myself over and over? 1 and a half years. I actually asked for more responsibility so I can show them I can handle it, they didn't. As stress builds up, physical and mental strength diminish. It sucks. I know my wife stresses more than I because of her lack of sleep, being with the boys 24/7/365 with them waking her up in the wee hours of the morning. I love her because I know she is dealing with a lot more than I am. I feel that if the 2 lazy ones actually got off their asses, she knows who I am talking about I am sure. And did something to help out, life may be just a little bit easier.
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